normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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