You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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