i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
