so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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