so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm too high and old for this...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
