I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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