Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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