You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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