Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
