one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
