1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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