Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
