Porn is love you can see.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
