The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
