420 ftw
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
