i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
