are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is it because I queefed?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
