lets start a swedish sibling band together
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
