oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
