There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
