You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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