i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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