Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
