we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
