i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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