at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
