His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
