i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
