So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
