you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
