i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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