wat bout pragnant strippers??
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
