Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
