My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
