Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
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