She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
