I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
