You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
false alarm. still invincible.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
