Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
