"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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