Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
