He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
