According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
