Your tits are I can't wait for
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
