You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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