I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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