they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
