why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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