I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
