i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
